i only accept apologies in cash
dont be a fucking music snob holy crap some people like the beatles others like nicki minaj like shut the fuck up theyre just different types of noises ur not superior for liking one and not the other
finishing a bottle of shampoo and conditioner at the same time is the biggest achievement of my life
when u havent done ur homework but the teacher goes through the answers with the class
Bros dressed up.
Fall in love with someone that doesn’t make you think love is hard.
Disney Channel Halloween episodes
A strong man can handle a strong woman. A weak man will say she has an attitude.
- People: You're only a true fan if you were there from the start.
- Me: IM SORRY I WAS BUSY BEING A FUCKING FETUS. BEING A "TRUE FAN" WASN'T REALLY MY MAIN CONCERN.
fresh journals and cool autumn afternoons are the best kind
The first time a girl ever took her underwear off in front of me I said, “Golly, it’s just like I seen in the pictures!” in a very 1920’s voice. I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea. She didn’t laugh. I didn’t laugh. That was probably one of the darkest days of my life.
wow…. i would have laughed :-/